Dan Hubbard and The Humadors

In my past life I was the son of a confectioner, or candy maker.  All I wanted was to take over my father’s business.   Unfortunately, I was killed in World War II before that could happen.    How do I know all this you ask?  Well, none of your business really.  All I can tell you is that I freaking love candy.  LOVE love, about 10 times more than the average human child.  And if I was involved in a war, you can bet I would be one of the first to be killed.

My mother once asked me when I was 24 years old if I had any regrets, or if there was anything I would do differently if I could go back.   I said “No, because I love where I’m at and If I changed something maybe I wouldn’t be here.”  What a crock!   I’m not saying I lied, I probably really believed that at the time.  But man, thinking back on how I answered that question just became number 67 on my list of 5,000 things I would do differently if I could go back.   Honestly though, these days I have just a little different perspective.  I have done, not done, and said too many things to count that I would change if I could.  I’m not saying by any means that I don’t love my life or the place I’m in, and I’m not saying that I would want to go back to the start of this life and try it all over again.  You couldn’t pay me enough to do that.  Too much homework involved.  All I’m saying is there are certain moments where, hell yes, I would change my answer if given the opportunity. 

Most of my regrets are too personal to write here, but I’ll just tell you that mostly I regret not treating other people with the respect they deserved at certain times in my life.  Times when I was too cool, or just wasn’t paying attention because I was too concerned with my own crap.  Wow, it hurts to even say that.  Embarrassing.    When I told my college basketball coach that I was quitting the team, he said “you may not regret this now, or even in ten years, but you will regret it.”  Well coach, you were right.  Or maybe it was my father who told me that.  I regret not listening to my parents more…             

The more I live the less I know.  A few months back I lost faith…again.  I’m not gonna preach about what or who to have faith in.  I just mean faith that something else is out there, that something good is coming.  No faith and no sunshine made me a pretty miserable person to be around for a while.  The sun is coming back, and certain people and angels have brought me back to life.  I once heard Doug Collins (did not quit the basketball team) say “if you have faith you have hope, and if you have hope you have life.”  Maybe if I had lived my entire life with faith I wouldn’t have quite as many regrets.  I don’t know.  The more I live the less I know.  But I think I can say, hopefully without regret, that Doug is right. 

We may be struggling musicians, but we certainly aren’t starving.  I have to say this again: the best thing about being a traveling musician is the people.  We were spoiled this weekend in the quad cities and Des Moines.  At both stops we had generous souls open their homes to us.  In Davenport it was Jim and Nancy entertaining, cooking, stuffing our faces, and simply being two of the most gracious people we have met.  In Des Moines it was Todd and Heidi who had never even met us!  Home- cooked Spaghetti and wine after a few hours on the road is not something we are used to.  They even offered us a sauna.  Man, life is tough on the road. 

Speaking from experience, inviting four rock’n rollers into your home that you don’t really know can be a bit overwhelming, and will draw some concerned looks from your neighbors.    I would have to think twice about it and I am one!  These people didn’t think twice. It may not seem like a big deal to you but I am absolutely inspired by it, and it gives me hope for humans.  People are good. 

The older I get the less time I have for friends who don’t want to get to the heart of the matter.  I want real conversations about life and how it’s hard and great.  Tell me what you love, what you fear, and let’s be real with each other.  Don’t need small talk, let’s get right to the meat and potatoes.  I don’t care if we just met.  If I’m going to spend time away from my family I want it to be something meaningful.  I’m not saying that after this weekend we know everything about these people, just saying they let us in.  We are all sharing this human experience, and I think it’s pretty cool when we actually share it with one another.   

When you come to see us play, you will know us.  We’ll give you everything we have.   Thanks for a great weekend IL/IA.  See you soon.

The best part about doing what I do is the people.  No matter how big the crowd, there is almost always at least one person that fills me with hope, and gives me a reason to come back next time.  Sometimes I think maybe they are angels that took over someone’s body just to say "Hey, keep going". 

When I was a child I was extremely shy, always clinging to my mother’s leg.  I guess I am still an introvert.  So maybe you can imagine how hard it is sometimes to walk in a place, stand before a bunch of people, and sing my most intimate feelings to them.  Once I'm there in front of the mic, it isn't hard; it's therapy.  The hard part is getting out of the car.   Lately my occupation comes with more uncertainty than usual.  Not just about money, but with who I am and what I'm doing.  Maybe it's because it's such a rare job in this town, or because I am married with children.  Oh yeah, and I'm 30!  Oh yeah, and we have another kid on the way!  Haha!!!  Sorry, back to uncertainty.  Sometimes I just sit in the car and pray for strength.  Pray that I will connect with or inspire someone.  The funny thing is it always ends up being the other way around.  

It's easy to feel hopeful when you play for 500 people who are singing your words back to you.  However, it's the little shows I will always remember.   The ones where you pull up to a strange new venue in the scary part of town and go "oh shit, what I have gotten myself into", and you seriously consider driving right past and all the way home.   I remember that being the case the last show of a two week (long story, but felt like 3 months) tour out west in Wichita, KA.   Anyway, we got through the show and this older gentleman who was sitting in the back stopped me before we got in the van to go home.  He said "You may never be as big as Neil Young, but you put your heart on your sleeve just like him.  That's what's important, that's what inspires people."  I remember looking to the sky and saying "thank you", and feeling like the trip was more than worth it, and that this was something I could not give up on, no matter what.

I make half of my living playing in places where it feels like no one is listening.  Background music.  I'm not complaining, it's work, but there are times when it wears on you as a performer.   I used to think "what's the point?", but now I know better.  There is always someone listening.  That person in the back who has the courage at the end of the night to come up and show you their appreciation with a kind word or a couple bucks.  I don't take it for granted, in fact it means more than you could ever imagine.  Or there are those nights like last Thursday at Baxters when winter finally hit Illinois, and logically I think it's gonna be a rough night for the bar.  It can be embarrassing playing for an empty room when you've been at it as long as I have.  Hope walks in the door in the form of old friends and people who have been supporting me for years.  Happens nearly every time, and it never ceases to amaze me.  

Like clockwork, this time of year I get a little depressed when my schedule dies down.  Just ask my wife.   She has to pep talk me every single year.  I've tried to tell myself that I do what I do for others, and hope that my songs can help somebody in some way.  That's partially true, but I'm not kidding myself.  This is for me.  You have helped make this life so freaking interesting.  It's a new adventure every time out.  When I get back in the car I am filled with hope and thankfulness.   You inspire me.  So thank you, even if it is just angels taking over your body. 

Dan    

Why do I do this to myself?  I keep hearing that albums are a thing of the past, and that the way to do it now is just to put out one song every now and again.  Really?  Is this seriously what music listeners want?    I guess I'm old school, because I want the complete work of art.  There's just something about a record.  "Let's make a record."  When I was 13 years old Tom Petty "Wildflowers" freaking saved my life.   Ok, that's a little dramatic, but talk about feeling like someone is speaking to you!  I get it Tom, I get it.  Thank you.  But let me listen to it one more time just to make sure.   Wildflowers was just the beginning for me.  To name a few of my favorites - Van Morrison "Tupelo Honey", Jackson Browne "Late for the Sky", Neil Young "Harvest Moon".  These are beautiful records that you know these guys died over a hundred times trying to get them just right.    Albums that you really have to get to know before you truly appreciate them.  In the midst of it you can't wait for a reason to get back in the car to see what else is going on in there.  

When I was listening to Tom in my parents basement all those years ago I honestly never thought that one day I would make a record, or even play an instrument.   I just liked the way it felt.  Here I am 17 years later and I'm finishing my 7th album.  It's what I've been doing for the last 10 years of my life.  Driving around thinking "hey that's a cool idea for an album."  What the hell happened to me?  How did I get here?    Let me tell you about my experience making records.  Maybe some artists have a more positive experience, but for me it can be quite miserable.    Imagine you're Rocky dancing at the top of the stairs with your hands in the air, and then you trip and fall down all the stairs and break everything, especially your head.  That's what it's like for me.  The best part, and the time when I'm happiest in this life is at the beginning of the process when I'm just writing songs.  It gives me goosebumps and makes me think "if this is giving me goosebumps, then maybe it will give someone else goosebumps too."  It is absolutely all down hill from there, until finally you just want it out of your face forever.  I think "man these are pretty good tunes and this could be a really good album.   Hope I don't screw it up."  I can't shake the thought that this is something that will be put out into the universe forever, or at least a very long time.  So, I nitpick absolutely everything.  Shit that no one in a million years would ever notice, not even the best musicians.  I think irrational thoughts constantly about it, and it's all I can think about, even when I'm having a face to face conversation with someone.  Imagine how hard and annoying these times are for my family.  Kaetlyn's telling me a  story and asking for advice about things that actually matter, and in my head I'm going "maybe I should lower the bass guitar a half a decibal because otherwise this song just doesn't work, and the albums gonna suck and I will have written all these songs and spent all this money for nothing.  Maybe I should start over? Or cut off my ears."   "Could you please repeat that honey?"  Seriously, God bless my wife and children.  

So, why do I do this to myself and the ones I love?  Maybe I'm just selfish.  Maybe I want my existence to be vaildated. Maybe I want my kids to find a box of my records one day  and be able to tell exactly what I was going through when I made them.  Maybe it will help them get through a tough time, or see how much I love them.  Maybe I want to give people something to hold on to when they're struggling.  Maybe I'm just selfish.   Mostly though, I think it's just a basic need to connect with other humans on a soul level.    We may not have experienced the same things in this life, but somehow you get what I'm trying to say, and we're not even in the same room.  It's so cool.  To think that maybe there is a kid out there listening to "life is Sweet" in his parents basement going "wow, I get it Dan."   That's why I do this to myself and the one's I love.  I know a lot of you are really hoping for a new album soon.  Trust me, I'm workin on it.  Just hope I don't screw it up.

Clearly I’m not much for blogging, considering it’s been almost one year exactly since I last did this.  However, today it feels like I have a lot to tell you so here goes. 

For the first time in almost a year and a half the Humadors are all in one spot, able to rehearse again, and ready to take our music to some place new.    I have no idea what that means, but we’re all pretty excited about it.  We finally wore Stephen Tassio down, and he moved to Bloomington/Normal so we can make it happen.   If you haven’t had the chance to meet Steve, not only is he the baddest bass player around, but he is also a genuine soul full of life, and he has given us an energy that we’ve never had before.    I can’t help but feel blessed when I think about the people I am surrounded by on stage. They honestly fell into my lap, and gave me hope when it seemed like it was time to pack it up.  My head spins and my heart pounds when I think about the possibilities now that we’re all together. 

Here comes the ironic twist in this riveting blog.  Through this year and a half of band uncertainty I wrote a bunch of acoustic songs.  So here I am talking about how the band is back in full force, and I’m getting ready to release a solo record! So it goes man.   It’s been 5 years since I made a solo album and I just wanted to get back to basics for a while.   When I say basics, I mean me standing in a booth with my guitar, harmonica, and voice.  It has been such an enjoyable experience because I have taken my sweet time, and I’ve had the chance to collaborate with some great musicians from the Heartland (including the Humadors) to help on different tracks here and there.  I can’t wait to share with you!  This reminds me, you’ll be able to see the whole process when we release the documentary footage that Tyler Johnson has been shooting all summer.   Needless to say I am extremely proud of it, and I’m looking forward to the day when I can put it to your ears and eyes.  

Now that I’ve got you excited, you should also know that I have no release date set, and I don’t plan on releasing it until its good and ready and then some.  

So, Saturday September 29 might be the last time you see me with my long hair at the Castle Theater, pushing the love show down your throat.   It feels like time for a change, time for a new phase.   Not, However, until we rock so hard that your face falls off…..and get it all on film.  Until this time next year my friends………

HEART!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dan  

Not that you should even care what I have to say, but since I have a blog and I haven’t said anything for a while, I guess I’ll try tonight.   I’ve been thinking about the ups and downs of life.  Fall is by far my favorite season, and while I tried to enjoy the beautiful day today, I couldn’t help but feel a little sad in the back of my mind because I know it is fleeting, and soon it will be winter again.   And tomorrow I will be 85 years old and getting ready to say goodbye.    I mean I know that the one thing people over 21 can all agree on is that time flies, but seriously, does time fly or what?  It’s insane.  Sorry, back to ups and downs.  I try not to get too excited when things go well, because I always know there is a challenge around the corner that will test my faith and try to break my heart.    And on the other hand, what a crazy life when you can actually appreciate being hurt and sad because you hope and know in your heart that there’s something good coming.  There has to be.  Love you Petty. 

August was a good month for me and The Humadors.  We played to some great crowds, sold lots of records, met some wonderful people, and at one point had a guy in a golf cart show us to our air conditioned trailer with our name on it.  I am not bragging, I’m just saying….We’re awesome.  Anyway, it was just something we needed to keep going.  Something to say we’re making progress, don’t give up.

Cut to September and I’m driving the guys five hours in a van with no AC on a 90+degree day to a festival that has been cancelled.  We spend a few hours there to try and find out what the hell I’ve got us into, have a few beers, and get back in the van to go home!  Ten hours of driving, zero rock’n roll.  Ups and downs my friends. 

First of all, thank you to the guys and Kori that day for not making me feel bad and taking it in stride.  But I’m just saying….I suck. 

So many nice people have come up to me and said “you guys should be famous”, or “Why aren’t you guys famous?”, or “keep going, you guys are going to make it!” And that’s awesome, but that’s not the point.  The point is we are making it, and we’ve made it.   We’re doing it because that’s what we love to do and that’s what we feel we’re meant to do.  That’s why we drive 10 hours and suck it up and move on when it doesn’t work out.    When I was 23 I would get pissed at the world after a bad show, and sometimes think “why him and not me?  I’m more talented than that douche on TV.”   But let me tell you people, I have been so blessed in my career.   I know you’ve heard it a thousand times before, but life is not about the destination, it’s about enjoying the ride and all the ups and downs that come with it.  Thank you for letting me play my music for you.  It has brought me more joy than I could have ever hoped for.  I love you, so please keep moving, and we will too.

Love love love love love love love,

Dan

Thank you to everyone who came out to the Holiday Jamboree on Saturday.  Together we raised $5,000 for the Share The Music program for kids in need.  How awesome is that?  It was a great night with a lot of great bands.  It was one of those nights that makes you feel like you're on the right track.   There is no better feeling than being on stage and getting the support and feedback that we got on Saturday.  I feel truly lucky and blessed that somehow I have been able to experience that moment in my life.  Thank you to the crowd for giving us that. 

My wife was at the show with our baby boy, Ben, in her belly.  Crazy life.  It was pretty cool knowing that he was out there rocking to his old man.  Kaetlyn tells me he was gettin down.  He probably won't get to do that again for a while, but I do have big plans for him to be our bass player as soon as he is able. 

I have to say something about the guys that I play with.  Scott, Kevin, and Kyle.  I loved being in The Hubbards because I got to write and perform with my bro, but I have never been in a better band than this one, and most likely will never be.  Who would have thought that you could find such great musicians in Bloomington/Normal, IL.  Scott and I have been playing together for almost 9 years now, Kevin and I almost 3 years, and Kyle and I for 1.   Once again, I feel lucky to have been surrounded by these people.  They have all made sacrifices to do this thing that we love, and I don't take it for granted.  It's not easy to keep a band together.  Believe me, we have problems and issues just like any family does.  So far we have been able to move forward together, and I am proud of that.  However, there are uncertain times when we don't know how long this will last.  These guys could go play with anyone they want to,  so I don't fool myself.  I'm just trying to enjoy it while I get to play with them, and hope that we have some sort of success soon, so they can't leave.  No, I haven't been drinking.  Just feeling a little nostalgic and thankful for the many blessings in my life.  Thanks for listening.  Love to all. 

Dan

what a great time at the cd release show on Friday.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart for the support everyone.  From Joe, Mona, Von and Jonathan helping with merch sales; to Jeff, Greg, and Christina coming from Chicago; to the amazing group from Edinburg who drove an hour and half to see us; to our friends and family in town who have come out to support us countless times over the years; and of course, lets not forget, my smoking hot wife.  I have big dreams and high hopes for this band, but it's times like Friday night that make me realize how truly lucky and blessed I am.  Don't think I don't think about it people.   I sincerely hope you all got your money's worth with the show and the cd.  I will never forget it. 

Love to all,

Dan