In my past life I was the son of a confectioner, or candy maker. All I wanted was to take over my father’s business. Unfortunately, I was killed in World War II before that could happen. How do I know all this you ask? Well, none of your business really. All I can tell you is that I freaking love candy. LOVE love, about 10 times more than the average human child. And if I was involved in a war, you can bet I would be one of the first to be killed.
My mother once asked me when I was 24 years old if I had any regrets, or if there was anything I would do differently if I could go back. I said “No, because I love where I’m at and If I changed something maybe I wouldn’t be here.” What a crock! I’m not saying I lied, I probably really believed that at the time. But man, thinking back on how I answered that question just became number 67 on my list of 5,000 things I would do differently if I could go back. Honestly though, these days I have just a little different perspective. I have done, not done, and said too many things to count that I would change if I could. I’m not saying by any means that I don’t love my life or the place I’m in, and I’m not saying that I would want to go back to the start of this life and try it all over again. You couldn’t pay me enough to do that. Too much homework involved. All I’m saying is there are certain moments where, hell yes, I would change my answer if given the opportunity.
Most of my regrets are too personal to write here, but I’ll just tell you that mostly I regret not treating other people with the respect they deserved at certain times in my life. Times when I was too cool, or just wasn’t paying attention because I was too concerned with my own crap. Wow, it hurts to even say that. Embarrassing. When I told my college basketball coach that I was quitting the team, he said “you may not regret this now, or even in ten years, but you will regret it.” Well coach, you were right. Or maybe it was my father who told me that. I regret not listening to my parents more…
The more I live the less I know. A few months back I lost faith…again. I’m not gonna preach about what or who to have faith in. I just mean faith that something else is out there, that something good is coming. No faith and no sunshine made me a pretty miserable person to be around for a while. The sun is coming back, and certain people and angels have brought me back to life. I once heard Doug Collins (did not quit the basketball team) say “if you have faith you have hope, and if you have hope you have life.” Maybe if I had lived my entire life with faith I wouldn’t have quite as many regrets. I don’t know. The more I live the less I know. But I think I can say, hopefully without regret, that Doug is right.